Saturday, November 16, 2013

The 2013 Brooklyn Marathon: My Newest Attempt At Failure


The last time I wrote a short blog, it was to help calm my nerves the day before a marathon.  Now, two weeks later – I’m writing a short blog to help calm my nerves the day before a marathon.

Tomorrow I will be running the Brooklyn Marathon, held entirely in Prospect Park.  Yes, that’s right.  I am attempting to complete a marathon a mere 14 days after I finished the last one.

This race won’t be as exciting as the New York Marathon.  First, it’s got 500 entrants compared to the New York Marathon’s 50,000.  Rather than shutting down traffic in 5 different boroughs, this marathon is run in the recreation lane of Prospect Park that is staying open to the public (read: we’ll be dodging dogs and baby strollers).

I doubt I’ll be any faster in this race than I was 2 weeks ago.  First, as I just said I just ran a marathon 2 weeks ago.  Second, my left foot feels fine, but I have a couple of new body parts that are giving me trouble.  You probably want to read about them about as much as I feel like writing about them, so I’ll spare both of us.  Let’s just say that the diagnosis I got from my personal physician – Dr. Google – wasn’t too bad.  Then, via a one on one consultation with my private therapist – You Tube – I’ve learned how to tape these body parts during the race to help ease the pain when I run (and I’m guessing to keep the pieces stuck together should something fall off).

In reality, I may even fail.  In the back of my mind, I’m admitting that it’s possible that I won’t finish.  I’ve only run 3 times since the marathon, and never more than 6 miles at a clip.  I’m sure my body isn’t completely healed from its last 26.2 mile trek; it may simply give up.  And I’m fine with that.

The other day at my Weight Watchers meeting, my leader Maggie asked me what has changed for me since I’ve lost 70 pounds and kept it off almost 4-1/2 years so far.  A few things ran through my mind: I didn’t fear clothes shopping any more, I didn’t worry about the sides of my ass hanging off a chair when I sat down, and I’d lost my taste for Haagen Dazs chocolate ice cream (and what a sad day that was when I figured that out).  But I knew that wasn’t Maggie was talking about. I thought for another second and had my answer: “I’m not afraid to fail.”

When I was fat, I wouldn’t rise up to any challenge.  I convinced myself that I couldn’t do something before I even tried, and if I knew I was going to fail, then why bother?  In my journey over the last 5-1/2 years of losing weight, keeping it off and becoming a triathlete and long distance runner, I’ve learned that there’s actually a lot I can do and a lot I’ve already done.  Yes, my body or mind might crap out and quit at mile 15 of my second marathon in 3 weeks.  But is trying to do 2 marathons so close together and only getting through 1½ of them really failure?

Next week I hope to write a blog about completing the Brooklyn marathon 2 weeks after completing the NY Marathon.  It may end up being about completing 1-1/2, or possibly even less.  But it will never again be about the sides of my ass hanging off a chair, my new found love of Haagen Dazs chocolate ice cream, or how I failed at something because I didn’t even try.





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