Sunday, February 17, 2013

What Happens When "Fit Girl" Falls Down A Flight Of Stairs



Except for the poor guy at my company who processes payroll and has to make sure that everyone gets their hours in on time, I think pretty much every human on this planet loves Friday.  The work week is ending, you can often sleep in the next day, at some companies you get to wear jeans.  Not this girl though.  I mean, it’s the end of my work week, and I get to sleep in the next day (until 5AM.  And yes, that’s actually sleeping in, sigh).  I even get to wear jeans sometimes.  But I dread Fridays.  The reason is simple: Fridays are my weigh in day.

I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, please!  She’s Fit Girl!  She works out every day and is the poster child for eating healthy.  How bad could it be?”  Well, it’s been bad.  I actually haven’t been to Weight Watchers yet in 2013 for one simple reason – I’m too fat. 

I know, that makes no sense.  Let me explain.  At Weight Watchers, once you’ve been at your goal weight for 6 weeks, you become a “Lifetime Member at Goal.”  That title gives you 2 great perks: you don’t have to pay any more, and you only have to weigh in once per month.  Of course, it also has it’s down side: at that first weigh in of the month, you have to be within 2 pounds of your goal weight, or you’re back to paying again (they let you keep the title of “Lifetime Member”, maybe in case you’d printed up business cards?).  Once you’re back within that two pounds, you’re free again.  Well, after the “Marathon That Didn’t Happen” in early November, I started to slide a little.  Then after Thanksgiving I started to slide a lot.  I made it through my December weigh in, but it was so close that while waiting for the scale to register, I tried to remember if I’d shaved my legs that morning and then I started estimating the weight of stubble. 

When January came, I stepped on my scale at home and knew that I was done with Weight Watchers for a while. I didn’t need to shell out the weekly fee every Friday to know that I had failed and was no longer at my goal weight.  I didn’t even really need to step on my scale to know.  I could tell by my pants that were hanging in my closet, unworn for a few weeks because they didn’t fit anymore.  I could tell by how much harder my runs had gotten, and I could tell by how crappy I felt.

There it was.  My reign as “Fit Girl” was over.  I was headed back to being “Fat Girl”, where there was dessert after every meal (including breakfast), dread filled shopping trips hoping against hope that I only had to go up one size this time, and reestablished threesomes with my two favorite men: Ben and Jerry.

I admit that I continued on this path for a bit.  I had slipped up a little, why not keep going?  But, I kept looking at those pants in my closet that hadn’t seen daylight since the Fall (and my fall, hah).  At work I help run these Wellness Summits we do, and in them I do two presentations.  One is all data, and has participants completely riveted and on the edge of their seats (or to a data nerd like me, that’s what it looks like when I gaze out on the crowd).  The second presentation is about my own food and fitness tips that got me to my goal weight and kept me there for 3-1/2 years.  I talk about concrete things like making healthy snacks and having them handy, and the best way to share dessert (you get the first bite and the last bite, and your partner in crime can have all the bites in between).  But I also remembered one of the deeper things that I talk about.  It’s a simple concept: have you ever been walking down a flight of steps and your foot slips, but you somehow manage to grab the hand rail and you end up falling only a step or two (please tell me that’s happened to you, too, and I’m not just a big klutz)?  Well, after you grab the hand rail, get your heart rate back down and compose yourself again, do you throw yourself down the rest of the stairs, just to finish it up?  No! (And if you do, you might want to talk to someone about that).  I explain to people that they will mess up on their journey.  We’re all human, and instead of being on top of the world, sometimes we wake up and find that the world is on top of us.

So, I picked myself up from the stairs, so to speak, and dusted myself off.  I thought about what I really want, which is to be back at my goal weight, fit, and healthy.  So, I cleared my kitchen out of all of its new found junk food, put a little more fervor into my workouts, and tracked my food both by points on Weight Watchers and by calories on an online calorie tracking tool.  When I wanted to stray, I just held on tight to that handrail and made sure I didn’t slip on the stairs.

This past Friday I went back to Weight Watchers for the first time this year.  I got on the scale and held my breath, hoping that the air I wasn’t letting into my lungs was going to help me to pass my weigh in.  And, I did it.  Well, I did and I didn’t.  I was within two pounds of my goal weight, but I was still over.  That’s OK, though.  I’m steady on the stairs and moving in the right direction.


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