Why Am I Doing This?

“Why am I doing this?”

Nope, I’m not at the marathon portion of an Ironman Triathlon, wondering what in the world I’ve gotten myself into. I’m not even in a regular marathon. Hell, I’m not even just training for a marathon. And that’s just the point.

I wonder that thought above while I’m waiting for the train from Pelham to Grand Central Terminal in the middle of the day on a Sunday. I’m on my way to my gym to do a 60 minute deep water run. Another [expletive] deep water run. Sigh.

As many of you know, I’m injured. I finally got my diagnosis from my physical therapist, and it’s good and bad. The good news is that my Achilles tendon isn’t torn. The bad news is that the tendonitis I have is so bad that I can’t even look at a bike for 2 more weeks, and I can’t run for at least another month. By the time I can run again, over 8 weeks will have passed since my last run, and I’ll basically have to start from scratch. I’ve had to cancel my registration for the NJ marathon in May, and though I have yet to admit it to myself, I won’t be able to run the NYC Half Marathon on March 18^th.

So, why am on my way into the City to do my least favorite workout? I’d love to have a story for you where some big epiphany happened while I was in the pool, where I saw a glowing light with God’s face in it and I came up with my answer. That didn’t happen. I knew exactly why I was going while I was waiting on the train platform. It was simple. It was because I can, and because I actually want to. Now, no, I don’t WANT to do a 60 minute deep water run. What I want is to continue to work out, and continue to be healthy. I want to stay “Fit Girl”, the person who trains for marathons and actually gets excited about 20 mile runs. I now choose to eat healthy, set a good example for my children, and be a source of inspiration for both close friends and complete strangers.

Over 8 weeks of no running does not have to turn into 8 weeks of sitting on the couch and eating Snickers bars (and to any Snickers bar reading this, please don’t take it personally. Our past relationship was wonderful, but I just hit a point in my life where it was time to move on). I will be able to run and bike again, and I want to fall right back into my training schedule, making as few modifications to it as possible. And so I stand on the Pelham platform, waiting for the train to New York City so that I can go to my gym, do my resistance bands, and then go for a 60 minute deep water run. And that’s exactly why I’m doing this.